Sunday, December 9, 2012

'Tis the season...

When I think of Christmas traditions I think of snowmen, roaring fires, and knitted reindeer jumpers... and then I remember I live in Australia. Christmas day will probably be a cosy 40 degrees celsius, resulting in a total fire ban; in other words absolutely no chance of a white Christmas.
I probably ought to point out that I'm not in any sense a religious person; but I've always liked the idea of Christmas traditions. However, implementing them is a completely different matter...

The Nativity. Back in England I went to a Christian primary school, where every year we'd have to perform the nativity scene in front of all our parents. Each year I'd long to be something cool, like the angel (in one instance I wanted to be the star!) but of course I'd wind up as a sheppard. It was very convincing - I wore a tea towel on my head and dragged along a toy lamb by a piece of string. My acting capability was apparent from an early age.

Family. Having no extended family living anywhere near us means that a family Christmas is just the four of us. To be honest, I'm not sure if I like it or not. We went and visited the family we have in Tasmania a few years back, but it just didn't seem like we belonged there. Occasionally we'll get some family or friends who'll come over just to see us. I will admit: if there is just one person who can get me hyped up for Christmas it is Grandma Jeanette. Unfortunately for us, she lives in America. 

The Tree. We're not a very festive bunch, really. The tree doesn't get put up until the week before Christmas. Then we just throw the decorations at the tree in an attempt to get the stupid thing done. Then Eden shouts at me for being rubbish and fixes it. Epileptic fit inducing lights are a big no-no. And last year, Fudgie hid behind the tree for the two weeks it was up and we couldn't find him half the time.

The Food. We do buy a ridiculous amount of food. Every year. No exceptions. We usually have a Christmas turkey luncheon, but last year we established that none of us actually even liked turkey that much, so there's that tradition out the window.

The Presents. I try and get all my shopping done early: not necessarily because I'm really looking forward to the Christmas, but because I dislike everyone. Especially people in shopping centres. And queues. In all seriousness - I like giving presents, and I like getting presents. I just can't stand Christmas shoppers.

The Christmas Carols. Never got into them. They make my stomach churn. And then people assume you know the words and invite you to sing along. No, I don't like it. Sing something catchy like "Yellow Submarine".

Actually, now I've established I'm a bit of a grinch. I'd like to think that a Winter wonderland type surrounding would open my heart a bit more to the Christmas spirit, but really, who knows? For this festive season, I think I'll don my black "BAH HUMBUG" Santa hat in the hopes that it'll keep the carolers at bay.